Hi guys!
Hey everyone, this is all a little weird to pass on to you, but we’ve always been a really open band and want you to know a little bit about what’s been going on.
Over the years we’ve had recurring issues with an angry wizard monkey named Simian Sorcerer Magus, and things seem to have come to a head after a pretty epic battle we had with him cruising I-80 last night. We tried our hardest, but the guy is actually a tiny monkey who has magic powers, so we inevitably lost and he broke into our van.
Luckily, he didn’t take anything too valuable, as Josh’s cell phone has already been stolen, along with Alans laptop, we didn’t have much in the way of valuables. We were momentarily concerned he would steal our nu-metal discography or mulled-cider scented candles, but thankfully he left them for us to keep.
He did however get away with the master copy of our record.
Until now, the only copies that existed were in Pete Wentz’s private vault, e-celebrity Nicholi’s Discman and our tour-van.
We don’t mind so much, in this day and age you begin to expect your songs to leak, but he doesn’t even plan on releasing the songs to the world. His only plan seems to be to write bad reviews of it so everyone hates “Enemy of the World” when it releases on March 9th.
All we can say is, that’s what we get for getting involved with monkeys practicing the arcane arts. We hope you judge the record for itself when it comes out, but we understand if the evil midget-sorcerer-ape turns you against us.
See everyone when we roll through your town on tour!
-Four Year Strong
